Apps to Make Friends, Not Dates: An Honest Guide for Adults

Short answer: the best app to make friends as an adult depends on the kind of friendship you want. To meet people near you, try BFF (Bumble's friendship app), Timeleft (dinner with strangers), Meet5 or Wyzr if you are over 40, or Peanut if you are a mum. For groups built around a hobby, Meetup and Nextdoor Groups. For friendship online, Reddit and Discord communities. For slow one-to-one conversation, Slowly. None of them are dating apps.

We make one of the apps on this list, Spillr, so read that section knowing it. It sits in the online group, and it is the wrong choice if you want people to meet in person. We have tried to be fair to everyone else, including where they do something we do not.

First, decide what you actually want

“An app to make friends” covers four quite different things, and most disappointment with these apps comes from using one built for a different job.

• Someone to get a coffee with on Saturday. You want a local, in-person app.
• A regular thing to belong to. You want a group: a run club, a board game night, a book club.
• People to talk to, wherever they are. You want an online community.
• One real conversation, taken slowly. You want something closer to letters.

Apps to make friends locally, in person

BFF (Bumble For Friends)

Bumble's friendship app, now listed on the App Store as BFF: Make Friends & Meet Up. You set up a profile, match one-to-one with people nearby, and chat. Since its relaunch in late 2025 it is built on Geneva, a community app Bumble bought, so it also has a Groups tab with group chats, events and a calendar. The App Store listing says every user goes through selfie verification and that the app is free with no locked features. It is 18+.

Good for: people who have just moved and want a steady supply of local people to message. Less good for: anyone who finds swiping and small talk exhausting, because one-to-one matching still means a lot of first conversations that go nowhere.

Timeleft

Timeleft skips profiles altogether. You take a personality quiz, pick your area, and get booked onto a dinner with a small group of strangers, usually on a Wednesday. It also runs drinks, coffee meetups, group runs and women-only dinners, in a long list of cities worldwide. Taking part is paid, and the price depends on where you live.

Good for: people who would rather sit down with five strangers than message fifty. Less good for: the second meeting, which is on you. A great dinner turns into a friendship only if someone says “same time next week?”

222

An iPhone-only app that also groups strangers by a detailed questionnaire and invites them to real events nearby: dinners, bars, classes. It charges per event or by subscription and runs in a handful of large cities, so check yours is covered.

Meet5 and Wyzr, if you are over 40

Both are built around activities rather than chat. Meet5 organises small group meetups (dinners, hikes, bowling) and runs in the US and several European countries. Wyzr is an activity-based friendship app aimed at adults 40 and over, with interest groups and a quick way to invite people to plans. Both are worth a look if the general apps feel like they were designed for 24-year-olds.

Peanut, if you are a mum

Peanut connects women through pregnancy and motherhood. You swipe to meet mums nearby, join groups by life stage, and ask questions. Profiles are selfie-verified. If your social life changed shape the day the baby arrived, this one was built for exactly that.

Apps for groups and hobbies

Meetup

The long-standing option, around since 2002. You join groups by interest, from hiking to coding to language exchange, and turn up to their events. It is free to join groups, with an optional paid tier.

Groups are the friendship format that works best for most adults, because they solve the hardest part: seeing the same people again without anyone having to ask. A 2018 study by Jeffrey Hall estimated it takes around 50 hours together to go from acquaintance to casual friend, and over 200 to become close friends. A weekly group gets you there without a single awkward invitation.

Nextdoor Groups

Nextdoor is tied to your actual neighbourhood, and its Groups feature lets neighbours organise around gardening, book clubs, dog walking or volunteering. It is less glamorous than a friendship app and often more useful, because the people are genuinely close by.

Apps to make friends online

Reddit

If you searched “apps to make friends reddit”, Reddit is itself one of the better answers. r/MakeNewFriendsHere is one of the largest communities on the site dedicated to platonic friendship. There is also r/Needafriend, r/MakeFriendsOver30 and r/FriendsOver40. Your city's subreddit is worth searching too, as people often post looking for local company.

Good for: volume, and the fact that everyone there is openly looking. Less good for: depth, because a lot of first messages are “hey” and a lot of conversations fade after two days. Write a post that is specific about you, rather than replying to fifty others.

Discord

Discord servers are where online friendships tend to last, because conversation is ongoing rather than one-to-one. The official server for r/MakeNewFriendsHere has interest and age channels and voice chat. The better route is often a server for something you already love, a game, a podcast, a craft, where friendship happens as a side effect of talking about the thing.

Spillr

Spillr is our app: free, iPhone only, and you need an account. You post spills under an alias like QuietOtter. People see the alias and your city, never your name or face. Others respond with a hug, a heart or a “same”, or reply. Scrolls are one letter a day to one stranger somewhere in the world, with no handle or photo. They can reply once within seven days, and if you both say yes, it opens into a chat.

Good for: people who want to talk honestly first and decide about each other later, by what you say rather than how you look. Not for: meeting people nearby. Spillr does not arrange meetups and does not match you by interest or location. If you want a coffee on Saturday, use one of the apps above.

Apps for slow, one-to-one conversation

Slowly is the best-known app here. You write letters to pen pals around the world, matched by interests and language, and each letter takes time to arrive depending on the distance between you. It is on iPhone and Android, and the core of it is free. It suits people who find instant chat shallow and want to write properly. Other apps like Slowly are compared here.

How to make any of these actually work

The app matters less than people hope. What matters is a few habits that work everywhere.

1. Say “friends only” plainly. On any app with profiles, put it in the first line of your bio. It saves everyone time.
2. Be specific in your first message. Not “hey, how's it going”. Try: “You mentioned you just started climbing. I've been going for a month and I'm still terrible. Which wall do you go to?” There is more on this in how to start a conversation.
3. Suggest the second thing quickly. After two or three good exchanges: “I'm going to the Thursday quiz at the Crown. Want to come?” A specific plan is far easier to say yes to than “we should hang out sometime”.
4. Go back. To the same group, the same dinner night, the same server. Most friendships come from repetition, not from one brilliant first meeting.
5. Expect some duds. Plenty of matches will go quiet. That is normal on every one of these apps and says nothing about you.

If the in-person part is what you dread, making friends as an introvert is worth reading first, and making friends as an adult covers the bigger picture.

Which app, for which situation

• “I just moved and know nobody here.” BFF, plus one Meetup group you go to every week.
• “I hate messaging, just put me in a room.” Timeleft or 222.
• “I'm over 40 and the other apps feel young.” Meet5 or Wyzr.
• “I've just had a baby.” Peanut.
• “I want people to talk to tonight, wherever they are.” Reddit or a Discord server for something you love.
• “I want to be known for what I say before anything else.” Spillr, or Slowly if you want long letters.